........One of my friends tooked overdose.. She is alive, and in a good condition but i was so scared. I'm scared that she'll do it again. i wanted to scream "why?! WHY?!!? you did something like that?!" It hurt me like a knife to know how hurt she is. She must be really hurt to do something like that.
I can't write about this...
Then i went to see my other friend. I was sad, confused and angry but managed to smile. Whe listened to Dream Theater. I haven't listened that band like in ages and it calmed me down.
"This world is spinning around me
This world is spinning without me
Every day send future to past
Every breath leaves me one less
to my last"
Pull me under, Pull me under
Pull me under I'm not afraid."
Then she showed pictures of normal life. It was bittersweet. I was jealous. So many normal nice and funny memories. i really liked those pictures, all of those were funny.
I'll write more...
Music:
No Time To Cry
Temtation
Carven
EDIT
I don't want her to die.. I understand. I want to die all the time, i think it's okay to die. But i don't want my friends to die. I just couldn't handle it. It'd be too much!!
Fuck. Today was embarrasing day. Dad yelled at me and i started to weep. Fucking hell that was embarrasing! Ofcourse not because he yelled at me! He yells at me and everyone very often. It was because i was sad and tired....I hate this day.
I don't have any life, I have only death. I have no future.
Everything is so disgusting. I'm so disgusting, this human race and society is so disgusting. Everyone, including me, is greedy and selfish.
I miss my past. If i could go back the way i used to be. It's the way no one wants me to be but I miss that time.
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DEAD
Hey! I didn't knew it was that bad, I don't wanna say anything because I don't know the whole story. But, I would like to hear it, maybe I can help. My e-mail is in my profile if you wanna share it with me.
VastaaPoistaHello, I enjoy reading your blog.
VastaaPoistaI'm not going to comment on your friends situation cause i honestly dn't know what to say. I've never experienced that before so any advice i give would have the posibility of sounding patronising. I hope it turns out well.
Thanks. Appreciated.
VastaaPoistaBut why do you wanna read something like this? I'm not going to write anything happy.
I know it won't be anything happy, but when you choose to share it, either by talking or writing, you are already making a big difference. Closing yourself up, when you have those furious misanthropic feelings, it's always worse.
VastaaPoista@Nevermore:
VastaaPoistaThat's funny, because that's the same thing i'm always telling to my friends.
Hey Raven, I haven't heard anything from you in the last few days. And, that last post you did, worries me. Did you get my e-mail?
VastaaPoista